As a mother, the constant demands of parenting can make finding time for personal needs feel impossible. I, Amrita Singh, a mother to my 3-year-old daughter Anaaya, have faced the same self-care struggles that many mothers do. Like most new moms, I initially thought that being a good mother meant putting Anaaya’s needs above everything else—including my own. It wasn’t long before I realized how wrong I was.
Parenting is incredibly rewarding, but it’s also exhausting. While taking care of Anaaya, I slowly began to lose track of my own needs. It’s not that I didn’t value myself—it’s that I couldn’t figure out how to fit my needs into a busy day that was dominated by nap schedules, feedings, playtime, and general chaos. I wasn’t alone in these self-care struggles, but it took time for me to see how essential it was to take care of myself too.
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The Realization: Self-care Is Not a Luxury
One day, after Anaaya had a particularly fussy week, I sat down and felt utterly depleted. I had been running on fumes for months and realized that I was no longer enjoying motherhood the way I should. I had become short-tempered, constantly tired, and lacked the energy to truly engage with Anaaya. That’s when it hit me: self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.
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Without taking care of myself, I wasn’t able to be the best version of myself for my daughter. I knew things had to change if I wanted to be a better mom, partner, and, most importantly, a happier version of me. My self-care struggles were affecting everyone around me, and I needed to find a way to make myself a priority again.
The Challenges of Balancing Motherhood and Self-care
It wasn’t easy to get out of the rut of ignoring my personal needs. My first challenge was the guilt. How could I justify taking time for myself when Anaaya needed me so much? I had internalized the idea that good moms are always available to their children, 24/7. But after speaking with a few friends and fellow mothers, I realized that taking time for self-care didn’t make me a bad mom—it made me a better one.
The second challenge was practical: where would I find the time? Between running errands, keeping up with housework, and looking after Anaaya, the day would fly by, leaving little to no time for myself. This is where I had to get creative and intentional about making self-care a part of my routine.
How I Overcame My Self-care Struggles
Here are the specific steps I took to overcome my self-care struggles and prioritize myself while still being the mother I wanted to be:
Creating a Routine
The first thing I did was establish a daily routine that included both Anaaya’s needs and my own. During her nap times or quiet playtime, I started setting aside just 15-30 minutes a day for myself. Whether it was reading a book, doing a quick meditation, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in peace, these small moments helped me recharge.
Asking for Help
I had to acknowledge that I couldn’t do everything on my own. Asking for help was a game changer in overcoming my self-care struggles. Whether it was having my husband step in to watch Anaaya while I took a bath or asking my mom to babysit for a few hours, I learned that it’s okay to rely on others. A great way to treat yourself and other moms is to check out this list of 48 Best Gifts for New Moms, According to New Moms.
Letting Go of Perfectionism
I realized that I was holding myself to an impossible standard of perfection. I wanted to do it all—be a perfect mom, keep a spotless house, and somehow find time to be a “superwoman.” Once I let go of this pressure, it became much easier to prioritize self-care without feeling guilty. I accepted that it’s okay if everything isn’t perfect all the time.
Finding Time for Sleep
One of my biggest self-care struggles was finding time to rest. Like many moms, I thought using Anaaya’s nap times to catch up on chores was the best use of my time. But soon, I realized that sleep is an essential part of self-care. I started using her nap time to rest whenever I felt exhausted, and it made a huge difference in my energy levels.
Using Technology to My Advantage
On days when getting out of the house wasn’t possible, I found ways to incorporate self-care at home. Whether it was using a meditation app or a YouTube yoga class, technology helped me maintain my self-care routine. Even just 10 minutes of meditation helped calm my mind and reset my mood.
Prioritizing Physical Health
Another important element of self-care for me was getting back into exercise. I didn’t have time for a gym or long workouts, so I started with small stretches in the morning or quick 10-minute exercises. Slowly but surely, I made it a habit to move my body, which helped both my physical and mental health.
The Importance of Self-care for Moms
What I realized through all of this is that self-care struggles aren’t unique to me. So many mothers are in the same boat, sacrificing their own needs for their children, but this leads to burnout and resentment. Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s the most important thing you can do for your family. When you take time to recharge, you can be a more present and patient mother.
And if you’re struggling to make self-care a priority, don’t forget to read this helpful guide on Self-care – How to Prioritize Yourself and Your Well-being.
How I Stay Consistent
Consistency was key to maintaining my self-care routine. There were days when Anaaya’s needs took over, and my plans for personal time went out the window. On those days, I reminded myself not to feel guilty. Skipping one day didn’t mean failure; it just meant I would try again the next day. I allowed myself grace, knowing that self-care isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistency.
Final Thoughts on Self-care Struggles
Overcoming self-care struggles as a mother isn’t easy, but it is possible. It starts with small, manageable steps. Whether it’s creating a routine, asking for help, or simply letting go of guilt, every little bit counts. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to care for our children. So, if you’re a mom struggling to find balance, remember that self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. You deserve it.
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