At a very young age, I was a rebellion against my parents, especially against my father, a retired soldier. I was tired of his way of handling family. It’s more likely he trains us to become a soldier one day. It was pressure for me because I also had a dream to have a father like my friends, schoolmate, and classmates who had full support from their father.
Till one night I’ve met my partner in the computer cafe. Then I decided to leave our house at the age of 19 and start living with my partner. He was the nicest person I ever met. He wanted to have a child with me, and I was not ready at that time. Always, he showed me love and respect, but I didn’t know it won’t last. One day he decided to broke up with me, and I beg to disagree with him. Our relationship was like a switch as it goes on and off.
After a year with him, he changed like I don’t know him, and I didn’t know I was pregnant at that time. I realized my menstruation has stopped and was thinking maybe I am pregnant. Before the pregnancy test, I asked my partner, “what if I got pregnant one day?” He just answered me, “How can it be?” So that time, I was afraid to tell him the truth with the strong expression on his face. My Co-worker and the whole management noticed that I was always tired and eating too much. Then they asked me, “Are you pregnant?” that time, they asked me repeatedly. I denied them, wondering if it was true as my menstrual cycle has been stopped.
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Then, one day, I was in the office, and my manager asked, “Be honest, are you pregnant?” I answered, “not sure.” She asked me again, “Did you try the pregnancy test,” I replied, “not yet because I am afraid that if I am pregnant, my partner will leave me. I don’t want to lose him because I’ve loved him so much more than myself.” My manager gave me a piece of advice that no matter what his reaction, I should accept the truth because children on this earth are a blessing.
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So when I got home, I already bought a three pregnancy test. All the results were positive. I got panicked and told him the truth that I am pregnant. That time his face had a strong expression that seems not to be happy with the news, and his changing behavior goes on and on. Then, he told me he ordered a Mif kit from Thailand and decided to abort the baby as we’re not ready to become parents, and if I truly love him, I should understand him. With no hesitation, I agreed with him.
However, my manager served as an angel the next morning & asked, ”if I hold my conscience for the rest of my life, I’m going to abort the baby?” So, I told my partner that I’m going to pursue & not what he has planned. And our relationship went miserable; as I continued my pregnancy, my partner continued to change. He used to sleep in the morning and works at night. I understand as he was working in the BPO industry. But when his day is off, he started going out to hang up with his friends and installed a tinder app.
I felt miserable that time why he treats me like that. He doesn’t care if I already eat, go out, play computer games, and the worst part for me that he doubted me as he thought I cheated him and thought he was not the father of the child I’ve been carrying.
So I decided to leave him, but I thought to myself to prove something, which was a cruel decision. I asked him to die for us as I wanted to see if he would do that; that means he doesn’t care for me or the baby inside my womb. You won’t believe what I saw, as he tried to hang himself which I couldn’t take it & cut the belt. I wanted him alive and to continue living in this world without us. So, I told him, “you made me realize that you don’t deserve us as part of your life; well, then I want to continue my pregnancy without your help in the future, and you will regret it.” I was crying that whole night and decided to go home to my parent’s house.
During the 5th month of my pregnancy, I decided to tell the truth to my parents. I was frightened, but I know I should do it with courage. In the first place, they were angry, but they already accepted me and my situation, although it changed until they decided me to stay away from their house. So I decided to live it all by myself. To my friend cope and cheer me up, I realized that I’d made the right decision not to abort my son. So at the age of 21, April 12, 2019, 2:55 PM at 33pounds, Aries Kristof was born. He totally changed me and my life.
I thought parenthood was the scariest hood that I’d encounter, but gladly it was just a thought. Actually, my life was the opposite with my thoughts in mind. This boy is an adorable and lovely baby. He completes me when I am alone and sad, & he will be there always. He wipes my tears away and kissed me after. Sometimes, I feel as if he is just a baby or someone matured person. At a very young age, he has matured though still a baby. He serves as a guardian angel to me. It is hard to believe, but with just one touch and smile, I feel totally renewed.
One day I decided to go home again and begged to be accepted by my parents. Gladly, my mother accepted me with the whole of her heart. And my communication with the mother of my partner was good and still going. I realize she was kind and quite the opposite of what my ex-partner said. But it was OK for me now and totally moving forward and happily contented with my life with my son.
I have a job, and life goes well though sometimes my father is totally wicked, I understand him, and besides, he is still my father. Thanks to my son, my father changes a little bit but still hopes that he will fully change. And I can’t change the fact that my son brings happiness to my house and my parents’ house.
At last, I would want to show an example that you can be a single mother & work & handle many other things at the same time. Being a single parent is not a life full of struggles but a journey for the strong.
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