As a mother, I understand how painful it is to see your child struggle in school despite their potential. A few years ago, I faced a similar situation with my daughter. She was a bright child but consistently failed in a couple of subjects. Teachers would tell me she had the ability to excel, but she wasn’t putting in the effort. When I asked her what was wrong, she remained silent, just like a closed book I couldn’t read.
It was heartbreaking. I tried everything I could think of—extra classes, counseling sessions, even changing her study environment. But nothing seemed to work. That’s when I decided to approach the problem differently, blending practical steps with the power of manifestation. Let me share exactly what I did and how it changed everything for us.
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Building a Safe Emotional Connection
I noticed that pushing her to talk wasn’t helping. Instead, I decided to let her know that she was not alone and didn’t have to face her struggles in silence. I began by sharing stories from my own childhood when I had struggled with something similar. I made sure she knew that even if she made mistakes, I would stand by her.
One evening, as we sat together for dinner, I casually said, “You know, I used to get really nervous before exams too. Sometimes I couldn’t remember anything! But things changed when I found my own way to deal with it. Let’s see if we can figure out your way together.” This broke the ice, and slowly, she started opening up.
What you can do:
- Share your personal stories of overcoming challenges.
- Assure your child that their feelings are valid and they have your unconditional support.
Identifying the Real Problem
After many patient conversations, I realized that my daughter’s struggle wasn’t with studying—it was with fear. She was terrified of disappointing us and her teachers. To her, failing was a confirmation that she wasn’t good enough. This fear paralyzed her during exams.
I reassured her that her worth wasn’t tied to her grades. I said, “Marks don’t define you. They’re just feedback to help us improve. Let’s focus on progress, not perfection.”
What you can do:
- Ask gentle, open-ended questions to understand what’s truly bothering your child.
- Reinforce that they are loved and valued regardless of their academic performance.
Making Study Time Fun and Effective
We turned studying into an engaging activity. I sat with her as she studied, not to monitor her but to make her feel supported. Together, we:
- Turned difficult topics into simple games. For example, for history dates, we created flashcards and quizzed each other.
- Used colorful sticky notes to summarize lessons and stick them on her study wall.
- Made a study playlist of her favorite instrumental music to keep her relaxed.
She started looking forward to study time because it became less about pressure and more about teamwork.
What you can do:
- Find creative ways to make studying enjoyable.
- Sit with your child as a partner, not as an authority figure.
Tackling Exam Anxiety Head-On
When she told me she forgot everything during exams, I knew we had to address her anxiety. I introduced her to deep breathing exercises. Before studying, we’d do a simple 4-7-8 breathing technique together: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This calmed her mind and helped her focus.
We also practiced mock exams at home. I’d set up a timer and recreate the exam environment. Over time, she became familiar with the setting, which reduced her nervousness.
What you can do:
- Teach simple mindfulness exercises to manage stress.
- Simulate exam conditions at home to build familiarity.
Manifesting a Positive Outcome
At night, I would sit beside her as she fell asleep and whisper affirmations like, “You are confident and capable. You remember everything you study. Exams are easy for you.” I also encouraged her to write down one thing she felt grateful for each day, which shifted her focus to positivity.
Together, we visualized her walking into the exam hall with confidence, answering questions calmly, and smiling as she handed in her paper. She started believing in this vision, and so did I.
What you can do:
- Use affirmations and visualization to build confidence.
- Practice gratitude together to foster a positive mindset.
Celebrating Small Wins
Each time she achieved something, no matter how small, we celebrated. When she passed a difficult test, we baked a cake together. When she mastered a tough concept, we danced to her favorite song. These celebrations reinforced the idea that progress, not perfection, was the goal.
What you can do:
- Acknowledge and celebrate every step forward.
- Make these moments special and memorable.
The Outcome
Over time, my daughter’s grades improved, but more importantly, her confidence skyrocketed. She learned to face challenges with a smile and realized that setbacks are part of the journey. Today, she’s thriving, and I couldn’t be prouder.
If you’re going through something similar, know this: You are your child’s biggest cheerleader. Believe in them, and they will learn to believe in themselves. Together, you can overcome anything.
