Becoming a mother is a journey filled with emotions, expectations, and the unconditional love of holding your baby for the first time. But what happens when society’s obsession with a son overshadows the joy of a new life? My story is one that many Indian mothers may relate to but rarely share out loud.
When I was pregnant for the second time, I already had a lovely 4-year-old daughter. Everyone around me had one thing on their mind – this time, it must be a boy. No matter how educated people get, the desire for a son still runs deep in our society.
Honestly, even I wished for a boy, but not because I thought a girl wasn’t enough. I just felt that having a son would stop all the comments and expectations. But deep down, I also knew that if it wasn’t a boy, it wouldn’t break me. Or at least, that’s what I thought.
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The Day Everything Changed
The day I delivered my second baby, I was filled with excitement and love. The doctor smiled and said, “It’s a girl!” My heart swelled with joy, but in the back of my mind, I worried about how everyone else would react.
My husband came to see me at the hospital, and when the doctor told him it was a girl, he left. He didn’t ask how I was, didn’t hold our baby, and didn’t say a word to me. I watched him walk away, my heart sinking.
A Silent Welcome Home
Four hours later, I came home with my mom, who had come to the hospital to support me. When we entered the house, the atmosphere was heavy. No one smiled, no one said a word. No one congratulated me.
I sat in my room, holding my newborn, and my mom looked just as shocked as I felt. But what could she say? She understood exactly what was happening.
For the next three to five days, my mom stayed with me, taking care of everything—me, my baby, the house. No one from my in-laws even held my daughter. They didn’t ask how I was or if I needed anything. My husband didn’t come near me, let alone talk to me.
The Words That Broke Me
When my mom finally had to leave, I was left alone in a house where I felt like a stranger. I couldn’t take it anymore. I asked my husband, “Why are you behaving like this? What did I do wrong?”
His reply crushed me. He said, “What have you done? Everyone expected a boy this time, and you gave us another girl. What is this?”
I broke down that night. I cried for hours, but no one cared. For the next four months, my husband barely spoke to me. My mother-in-law ignored me, and no one showed any love or care for my baby. The only people who showed any kindness were my father-in-law, who would sometimes play with my baby, and my sister-in-law, who called occasionally to check on me.
The Pressure to Try Again
After four months of silence, my husband finally came to talk to me. But it wasn’t to apologize or ask how I was. He simply said, “We need to try again. We have to have a boy.”
In our culture, we’re taught that a husband is like a god, and his words are law. So, even though my heart was still hurting, I agreed. I didn’t argue. I just accepted it.
When I conceived again, my husband’s behavior changed. He started talking to me again, showing care, and treating me like his wife once more. But I knew the reason behind his change – the hope for a son.
When a Son Was Born
This time, I gave birth to a baby boy. The joy in the house was overwhelming. My in-laws celebrated like never before, and my husband was over the moon. Suddenly, I was important again. My daughters, who were ignored before, were now treated equally, but only because they had a brother.
Now, my son is 4, my younger daughter is 5, and my eldest daughter is 9. Life seems perfect on the outside, and I am happy with my family. But the pain of those four months, the silence, the rejection – I can never forget it.
Why Does Gender Still Matter?
I love my daughters and my son equally, but I’ll never understand why society still values one gender over the other. My daughters are as amazing and capable as my son, and they deserve to be loved and celebrated just as much.
I share my story not to seek sympathy but to shed light on the harsh reality many mothers face. I’m sharing this because I know many moms out there might have faced something similar. It’s not easy to go through this, and even though things are better now, the hurt from those days will always stay with me. Sometimes, we don’t question or fight back because we feel we don’t have a choice. But that doesn’t make the pain any less real.
Now, when I look back, I sometimes think that maybe everything happened for a reason. Maybe I didn’t fight back because he was meant to come into my life. If I had taken any drastic step back then, like leaving my husband, perhaps I wouldn’t have my sweet boy today.
Life has its way of unfolding, and while those moments were painful, they’ve brought me where I am now – with my three beautiful children who mean the world to me. And for that, I am grateful. 💕
Note from the Editor:
This heartfelt story has been shared by a brave mother who wished to remain anonymous. She hopes that by opening up about her experience, other mothers who have faced similar struggles will feel less alone and find strength in knowing they are not the only ones to navigate such challenges. I am sharing this story on her behalf with the utmost respect for her journey and her privacy.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d love to hear your story. Let’s support each other, because only we know what it feels like. 💕
