She and Her husband, were married for four years, and they were trying for a baby but were scared to have one. She was already hopeless that they could have a baby ever. Maybe she was scared of the responsibilities of a child, and that is why God was not ready to give them their bundle of joy.
There is a saying, “Better late than never”, it happened with them too. When she found the pregnancy test positive, she had mixed emotions; happy and scared. Always lost in thoughts of how she would manage throughout the pregnancy and how she would handle the responsibility of a child. Days passed and her fear of passing the pregnancy time got less as she didn’t have any complications or vomiting issues.
They started thinking about their child and were happy to welcome their newborn into this world. Though she was very curious to know the gender of her child, however, her hubby wanted himself to be surprised on the gender on arrival only.
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In those nine months, she felt only one thing that she would hold her baby tightly and sure would cry seeing him/her after birth as she saw in Bollywood movies. She never bothered or thought of asking her husband about what he was thinking about it & she continued to enjoy her pregnancy. He took excellent care of her throughout their pregnancy. And this was how those nine months passed, and the labor day came.
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She started feeling labor pain at midnight, and it was so severe that she wanted to die and leave the whole world. Finally, after 11 hours of labor, when the doctors were trying to deliver the baby, she said to doctors in her mind, “just let me go, I don’t want any baby” because she was in a lot of pain and wanted the doctors to leave her on her own.
Many mothers will talk ill about her, but she knows how it felt thinking about her own child like this. Once the doctors delivered the baby (Wowww. It was a BOY), they started putting stitches, and her gynecologists’ told the staff to show the baby face to her once. But, she was like, “okay, you just send me out from here, I don’t want to see the face right now”, and all her Bollywood fantasy got washed away in a second.
The baby’s heartbeat was less, so the doctors admitted him to NICU, and still, she was in so much pain (post-delivery pain) that she didn’t bother for her baby. She didn’t know what was going through in her mind, and she was upset about why she was not feeling any love for her own baby? The day later, when her baby reached her, she still didn’t feel any love; maybe she felt shy about new motherhood or didn’t know exactly what was happening.
Then she shared this feeling with her sister-in-law, who told her that she would realize love and unconditional love for him as soon as she started breastfeeding him. But this didn’t happen either because the baby denied breastfeeding as he could not latch, so she and her family started giving him formula milk.
She was delighted to see her family happy on the baby’s arrival, so she didn’t bother about her feelings towards her baby. However, inside, she was really feeling worst.
And there comes the day when she didn’t know that her disappointment would go away very soon, in fact, the same day, as she continuously saw his newborn face for just one minute and immediately fell in love with him.
And now he is six months old, and he has become her world; she can not sleep without him, and her love for him is so much that if he sleeps with anybody else, she gets jealous and literally wake this little one up and then make him sleep again with her. Lol.
So this was the story, and this was how she took one long day to give his newborn the right of getting love from his mother. And she still gets upset when she thinks of the day why this has happened to her. And she gets much sad reading other moms’ blogs where they were upset knowing that their baby is in NICU. 😥😥
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