Do You Regret After Scolding A Child? Maintain Your Calm With These Tips!

Yes, I regret it a lot. Because sometimes, out of frustration and tiredness, I scold my seven months old son. But later on, I regret and wish that I could go back to the same time or situation and manage it patiently. We read many articles or blogs about not scolding a child or yelling at kids or about saying NO to them, and many of us decide that we will not scold our child next time. But is it really possible to stick to that decision?

Frankly, for me, it is not. Because every time I scold my child, I remind myself that I did wrong immediately after that. In the awful silence after, remorse washes over me. I know that deep down, he’s just a curious, energetic little person trying to make sense of this big world. Yelling seeds doubt, anxiety and low self-worth that can have lasting impacts. I certainly don’t want Hitarth to grow up viewing harsh verbal discipline as normal or okay.

So now, after understanding more and more about child care, I came up with a solution on how you can control yourself about scolding your child. Like many parents, I vowed early on to never yell or scream at my child. But making that intention a reality has been an immense challenge requiring conscious effort daily. If you too are on the journey to mindful, calm parenting, I’ve learned some helpful strategies along the way.

And here I am going to share what I do when my kid is naughty. And how should we stop them from doing anything that they shouldn’t? However, before checking the tips, let’s know how our scolding a child or yelling at them can impact their behavior in the short and long term.

Effects of Scolding a Child

Short-Term Effects of Scolding A Child

You’re likely to see some of the short-term psychological effects of yelling at a child shortly after you’ve done it. Aggression, anxiety, and withdrawal are all short-term impacts of yelling.

• When the parents hit their kids, show disappointment, or yell at them, their children become more aggressive.
• When children are spanked and given time-outs, and their mothers show disappointment, some children develop more anxiety symptoms.
• Children who have been verbally abused may have poor self-control or be more likely to react with anger or frustration.
• Children frequently imitate their parents’ actions. If you yell at them, they will most likely yell back. From their perspective, you’re teaching them how to communicate the way you want them to.
• Sometimes, you may not notice an increase in violence or talk back, but you may notice symptoms of your child withdrawing from you, depending on the child’s personality. Rather than relying on you, kids may turn to their peers, teachers, or trusted adults.

Long-term Effects of Scolding A Child

The short-term psychological impacts may cause you to consider how you may better respond to your children when you are upset or frustrated with them or for any other reason. When parents verbally abuse the kids, the effects can continue for a long time.

• Children are prone to treat others in the same way their parents treated them in their childhood. The habits and inclinations that children establish due to their childhood relationships will follow them into adulthood unless they are addressed or intervened.
• Kids who were yelled at much in their childhood may bully other kids because they have a false idea of healthy boundaries.
• Yelling at children makes them feel bad about themselves and makes it difficult to interact with others. Some of the other long-term psychological effects of yelling at a child can induce the symptoms like Anxiety, A negative view of self, Social problems, Self-esteem, Aggression, Behavioral problems, Depression, Bullying behavior, etc.

That’s some heavy stuff, right? Reading about the psychological impacts was a wake-up call for me to get serious about breaking this destructive pattern.

Tips To Maintain Your Calm Rather Than Scolding A Child

Overall, the psychological impacts of yelling at kids are detrimental and long-lasting. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you yell now and then. Consider approaching the child soon after you’ve yelled and explained what has upset you, as well as apologizing. If you work to avoid yelling, you’ll have fewer of these instances in the future, which means you’ll have fewer things to apologize for. The additional benefit of apologizing is that it allows you to model behavior that displays how the child might work to mend a connection they may have harmed in the past.

Now, there are some tips I have tried with my seven months old, and I found them very easy rather than scolding, and then regretting.

Diverting their Mind

When your child does anything they should not do, just divert his mind. For example, if he puts non-eatable things in his mouth, immediately exchange that with eatable things like biscuits or anything you want him to eat.

You must have heard about W-sitting, the child sitting on his knees, be it with open thighs or joining them. Click here to know about w-sitting and why it is not correct to sit.

Whenever your toddler sits like that, Don’t say, ‘change your position’ or ‘don’t sit like that, go to them, and instead of scolding, change their position yourself and make them sit with any other comfortable position.

Never Ignore them

Sometimes, we tend to ignore the highly naughty child because we are too tired and don’t want ourselves to be involved in child naughtiness. But this is very unfair and instead of ignoring them, play with them by singing, painting, reading, or merely talking because you are responsible for shaping your child’s spirit.

Talk with Love

Never think that your child does not understand what scolding is- because they do understand by seeing your facial expressions. Instead of scolding a child and shouting, talk to them lovingly even if they do not know what you are saying because slowly and steadily, they will know what is right and wrong for them.

Change the scenery

Instead of scolding a child, if you feel your anger escalating, remove yourself and your child from the trigger situation. I’ll tell Hitarth “Let’s go look out the window!” and that break is often enough for both of us to reset.

Hold them

If your toddler is making any mischief, hold them, instead of scolding him. Take them out for a while, which is beneficial in many ways; firstly, they will indulge in another thing, explore new things around them, & they will know the experience of relaxing into loving arms.

Praise the positive

I noticed Hitarth was so much more receptive when I acknowledged his good behaviors. “Thank you for playing so nicely! You’re being a great listener.” The positive reinforcement motivates them to keep it up.

Some Other Tips To Stop Yelling At Kids

• Reading books with your family is a fun hobby that allows everyone to express their thoughts.
• Adults and children can have a powerful interaction by making eye contact. When you speak to children from such a high point, some kids are scared. They may respond better if you can get down to their eye level.
• Encourage two-way exchanges while discussing with them about negative decisions they’ve made. It’s OK to be blunt about the types of errors they made but do so in a way that preserves their dignity and allows them to have some participation.
• Give them appreciation or rewards for their respectful communication, behavior, and problem-solving skills. These habits could come back to haunt them at a crucial point in their life.
• Keep in mind that children are still learning about life. They’re going to make blunders and test the waters & scolding a child is never a solution.

Takeaway

For all the parents out there still struggling with raising your voice more often than you’d like – you’re not alone! Remaining calm and centered 100% of the time is virtually impossible. What’s important is your commitment to doing better and being self-aware.

If you do slip up and yell at your child, don’t beat yourself up endlessly. Simply take that as a cue to pause, breathe and recalibrate. When possible, get down on their level afterward, give a hug and explain: “Mommy got really frustrated earlier, but I’m sorry I yelled. That’s not how I want us to talk to each other.”

Don’t be afraid to model emotional repair and accountability to your kids. They’re amazingly resilient when unconditional love is consistently present.

Breaking the cycle of harsh verbal discipline by scolding a child is an evolution, not something to conquer overnight. Pledge to keep practicing tools like redirection, positive discipline and cultivating more quality bonding moments. It may not click immediately but those small steps yield big results.

I still have plenty of room to grow myself, but I’ve come such a long way from where I started. The profound warmth and joy I feel in our home when resolving conflicts with patience is immensely rewarding. My ‘no-yelling’ evolution continues, one meltdown at a time.

If you like this article, please like, share, and comment. Stay happy and always blessed, and never regret anything. After all, you are the caregiver of your kid, and you have the right to take care of your child the way you want. Now, click here to check Top 10 Parenting Tips For The First Time Parents || A Guide By Manya.

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