Hi there, fellow moms.
I’m writing this blog with a heart full of understanding because I’ve been exactly where you are. When I had my second baby at 40, with a nine-year gap between my kids, my husband had to leave for work for a few months. Suddenly, I was alone, juggling a newborn, an older child, and a whirlpool of emotions. Postpartum depression hit me like a storm. I didn’t know whether to breastfeed or opt for formula, my back ached constantly, and unsolicited advice from elders only made things worse.
But guess what? I made it through — not just surviving but thriving. Today, I’ll share exactly what helped me, not from some expert’s desk but from my own messy, real-life experience. So grab a cup of chai, and let’s talk.
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Stop Fighting the Negative Thoughts
One evening, while holding my crying baby, I broke down. Tears streamed down my face as I whispered, “Why am I feeling like this? I should be happy, but I’m drowning.” That night, I decided to stop fighting my emotions and face them head-on.
- Write It Out: I started journaling my thoughts every night. My entries weren’t perfect — some were scribbles, others were rants. But each word felt like a weight lifted.
- Daily Affirmations: I began saying to myself, “I am strong, and I will get through this.” The first few days, I didn’t believe it. But as I repeated them, they started to feel true.
- Manifest Your Way Out: I imagined a peaceful version of myself. I pictured laughing with my kids and feeling light. I even wrote down, “I am healing every day.”
- Deep Breathing: Whenever anxiety crept in — like when both kids cried at once — I took deep breaths. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. It became my go-to tool.
Feeding Dilemmas? Trust Your Instincts
I vividly remember sitting in the middle of the night, my baby screaming, as I debated, “Should I give formula? Will breastfeeding ever get easier?” My mind was a storm of guilt and confusion.
- Consult a Pediatrician: A quick visit to the doctor reassured me that mix-feeding was fine. That one conversation silenced the guilt.
- Hydrate and Eat Well: I set reminders on my phone to drink water and snack on nuts. I realized I couldn’t care for my baby unless I cared for myself.
- Pump and Store: On days when I was too exhausted to feed, I relied on stored milk. The first time I used it, I felt a pang of guilt, but seeing my baby happy and full erased it.
Managing Alone When Husband’s Away
My husband would video call every night, but it wasn’t the same as having him there. I remember the overwhelming silence after ending those calls. Here’s how I coped:
- Routine Is Your Best Friend: I created a simple schedule — diaper changes, feeding, naps, repeat. Having structure helped me feel less chaotic.
- Small Wins: One day, I managed to fold a pile of laundry while my baby napped. It felt like climbing Everest. I celebrated by making myself a hot cup of chai.
- Ask for Help: I hesitated at first, but I eventually asked my neighbor to pick up groceries. Her kindness reminded me I wasn’t truly alone.
Tackling Back Pain
One afternoon, after hours of holding my baby, I collapsed on the bed, my back throbbing. I realized I needed to address this pain before it got worse.
- Use Support Pillows: I placed a pillow behind my back during feeds, and it worked wonders.
- Yoga and Stretching: A YouTube video on postpartum yoga became my savior. Just 10 minutes daily loosened the knots in my back.
- Warm Compress: My hot water bag became a daily ritual, offering instant relief.
- Massage Therapy: I saved up for a massage, and it felt like a gift to my body and soul.
Unwanted Advice? Smile and Filter
The unsolicited advice was relentless. One elder insisted I avoid cold water; another said I was holding my baby wrong. It drove me crazy.
- Smile and Nod: I learned to respond with, “Thanks, I’ll try that.” It ended most conversations without conflict.
- Stick to What Works: I reminded myself, “This is my baby, and I know what’s best.”
- Change the Topic: When the advice got too much, I steered the conversation to family recipes or local gossip. It worked like magic.
Dealing with Loneliness
At night, when both kids were asleep, the loneliness hit hard. I’d stare at my phone, tempted to scroll endlessly, but I found better ways to connect.
- Journaling: It became my therapy. I’d pour my heart out, and it felt cathartic.
- Short Calls: I started calling one friend daily for just five minutes. Those calls felt like a lifeline.
- Online Communities: I joined a parenting group on Facebook. Sharing my struggles and reading others’ stories made me feel less alone.
- Books and Podcasts: I listened to motivational podcasts while folding laundry. They felt like a friend cheering me on.
Manifestation: My Secret Weapon
Every night before bed, I’d close my eyes and picture myself smiling, my kids giggling around me. I thanked the universe for the small wins, like a peaceful nap or a warm meal. My mantra became:
- “This is a phase, and I’m healing every day.”
- “My kids are happy and healthy because of my love.”
I even created a vision board with pictures of happy families. Every glance at it reignited my hope.
Involving the Older Child
My older child became my little helper. One day, they surprised me by singing a lullaby to the baby while I cooked. Moments like these reminded me I wasn’t alone.
- Bonding Moments: Their efforts, like fetching diapers, created a special sibling bond.
- Confidence Boost: They beamed with pride every time I praised their help.
You’ve Got This
If I could overcome postpartum depression while managing alone, so can you. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to rest, and it’s okay to cry. But above all, remind yourself that you are enough.
Your journey may feel tough now, but you’re building something beautiful. Keep going, mom.
