Parenting is full of unexpected moments—some that make you laugh, some that make you proud, and some that leave you feeling guilty, even when you never meant any harm. Today, I had one of those moments.
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A Playful Prank That Went Wrong
It was bedtime, and as always, I was getting my son, Hitarth, ready for sleep. He went to keep his notebook in his school bag, and in that little moment, I decided to play a harmless prank. I hid behind the bathroom door, thinking it would be fun to see his reaction when he couldn’t find me right away.
He came back and called, “Mumma, kahan ho?” I stayed quiet, holding back a smile.
“Mumma?” His voice was a little louder this time.
He started searching—first under the blanket, then under the bed. I watched silently, expecting him to find me any second. He had always been good at spotting me before, but somehow, this time, he missed looking behind the door.
His calls became more urgent. “Mumma, kahaan ho?” The playfulness in his voice faded. There was panic now.
Then, I heard it. A soft, broken sob.
My heart sank. This wasn’t funny anymore.
I stepped out immediately. And what I saw crushed me.
“I Thought You Left Me!”
He was sitting on the bed, frozen in fear, his little hands covering his face. The moment he saw me, he ran toward me, his tiny body trembling as he clung to me and cried—not just tears, but deep, uncontrollable sobs. I had seen him cry before, but this time, it felt different. This wasn’t just tears—it was fear, a deep, shaken cry that came from feeling truly lost and alone.
I hugged him tightly, my own eyes welling up. I never imagined this small prank would hurt him so much. At that moment, I wished I could take it all back.
Through his tears, he said, “Mumma, I thought you left me alone and went down to the park.”
Hearing those words crushed me. In that moment, I realized how deeply he trusts me, how much security he finds in my presence. He wasn’t just looking for me—he was seeking the comfort of knowing I was there. And for those few seconds, he felt abandoned.
I held him tight, hugging him like I never wanted to let go. I whispered, “I am so sorry, beta. Mumma will never leave you like that. I will always tell you before going anywhere.” But as I said those words, my own voice broke. I apologized, feeling a deep ache in my heart.
I apologized over and over, but the guilt didn’t fade.
Turning Fear Into Strength
Once he calmed down, I wanted to make sure he never felt this fear again.
I gently told him, “Next time, if you can’t find Mumma, don’t be scared. Look for me, be brave, and if you feel worried, ask Hanumanji for help. But always remember—I will never leave you alone without telling you.”
His little sniffles slowly faded, and he nodded. I could see him processing my words, feeling reassured that his Mumma would always be there.
The Lesson I Learned
As he slept peacefully beside me, I kept thinking about what had happened. I found myself crying again. The thought of his little sobs, his panicked voice calling for me—it all replayed in my mind. And now, as I write this, I’m crying again. Because motherhood is like that. We feel everything so intensely, especially when it comes to our children’s emotions.
I had only meant to tease him, but his reaction reminded me how deeply children feel things. What seems like a small joke to us can be a big moment of fear for them.
But more importantly, this moment reinforced something beautiful—my son trusts me completely. He finds his world safe because he knows I am there. And as his mother, it is my responsibility to nurture that trust, not shake it.
Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about learning from these little moments, growing with our children, and ensuring they always feel safe, loved, and heard.
Tonight, I made my son cry. But in the end, I also showed him that he is never alone. And that’s a lesson I’ll carry with me forever.
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