I never thought I would face something like this. I had always believed I was doing my best as a parent—loving my child, guiding her, and being there for her. But when my daughter, then 10 years old, started lying frequently and even stealing small things from home, I was shattered.
I didn’t know how to deal with a lying child. I felt confused, betrayed, and heartbroken.
I remember the day I found her hiding something she had taken. When I confronted her, she broke into tears, promised she’d never do it again, and begged me not to tell her dad. But a week later, the cycle repeated. My husband and I were at a loss, unsure of where we went wrong. It felt like we were failing as parents.
But instead of letting despair consume me, I decided to approach this differently. Looking back now, I’m proud of the transformation we achieved as a family. I want to share my story and what I learned about how to deal with a lying child with love and understanding.
Steps I Took to Deal with My Child’s Lying Behavior
I Stopped Reacting and Started Listening
At first, every time I caught her lying or stealing, my immediate reaction was to lecture her. I’d ask questions like, “Why did you do this? Don’t you know it’s wrong?” But I realized these questions only made her feel cornered. Her tears and promises were a defense mechanism to escape the situation.
What I Did:
One day, instead of reacting, I calmly sat her down and said, “I’m not angry. I just want to understand why you felt the need to do this.” At first, she was reluctant, but when I promised I wouldn’t scold her, she admitted she was scared of disappointing us and didn’t know how to handle her feelings.
That moment was the first step in understanding how to deal with a lying child from a place of empathy instead of judgment.
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I Looked Within Myself
As painful as it was to admit, I realized I might have unknowingly created an environment where she felt scared of being honest. I thought back to the times I had reacted harshly or dismissed her feelings.
What I Did:
I made a conscious effort to be more approachable. Instead of jumping to conclusions, I started responding with empathy. For instance, when she admitted to lying, I said, “Thank you for telling me the truth. I know it’s not easy, but I’m here to help you.”
This mindset shift was crucial in learning how to deal with a lying child without damaging the relationship.
I Created a Safe Space for Honesty
One of the biggest changes I made was introducing a “no punishment” policy for honesty. I told her, “If you tell me the truth, I promise not to punish you. We’ll figure it out together.”
What I Did:
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Started a weekly “Mom and Me” time where we’d talk about anything she wanted without fear of judgment.
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Shared stories about my own mistakes as a child and how I learned from them.
This approach made her feel seen and supported—one of the best things you can do when figuring out how to deal with a lying child.
I Used Positive Reinforcement
Instead of focusing on her mistakes, I began celebrating her honesty and good behavior. For example, if she admitted to something, I’d say, “I’m so proud of you for being truthful. That takes courage.”
What I Did:
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Created a small “truth jar.” Every time she was honest, we’d add a coin. Once it was full, we’d enjoy a movie night or bake something together.
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Encouraged her to use affirmations like, “I am an honest person,” every morning.
These positive moments helped reinforce truth-telling and were a gentle but effective method of dealing with a lying child.
I Shifted My Focus to Connection
I realized her behavior was her way of seeking attention or expressing emotions she didn’t know how to handle.
What I Did:
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Spent at least 10 minutes of focused time daily—whether through play, reading, or just chatting.
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Asked open-ended questions like, “What made you happy today?” or “Is something bothering you?”
That connection helped her feel safe—and made how to deal with a lying child less about correcting and more about understanding.
I Introduced Visualization and Affirmations
This was a game-changer for us. Every night, before bed, we’d sit together and visualize the kind of person she wanted to be—someone who was confident, truthful, and kind.
What I Did:
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Guided her to close her eyes and imagine herself making good choices and feeling proud.
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Created a vision board with affirmations like, “I am honest,” “I am loved,” and “I make good decisions.”
It was a gentle but powerful tool in shaping her identity and helping me discover a new dimension of how to deal with a lying child.
Also read: Nurturing Self Esteem in Kids – Why It Is Important?
I Stayed Consistent
Change didn’t happen overnight. There were days when she slipped back into old habits, and I felt like giving up. But I reminded myself that progress takes time.
What I Did:
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Stayed calm and repeated the same gentle values, even when things went wrong.
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Reminded her—and myself—that every mistake was a chance to learn.
Consistency is one of the hardest parts of dealing with a lying child, but it’s also the most necessary.
Also read: Why children tell fibs and how to respond
I Involved My Husband
Initially, my husband had taken a step back, feeling frustrated and helpless. But I realized we needed to approach this as a team.
What We Did:
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We talked about our parenting goals and agreed to respond with unity.
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He joined some of our “Mom and Me” conversations, making her feel even more supported.
When both parents are involved, it becomes much easier to understand how to deal with a lying child effectively.
Closing Thoughts
Looking back, those tough months turned out to be the most transformative time in our lives. My daughter is now more confident, emotionally aware, and honest—and our bond is stronger than ever.
If you’re struggling and wondering how to deal with a lying child, know this: You’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Children lie for many reasons—fear, attention, guilt—but with love, connection, and patience, they can learn to choose honesty.
It’s not about being a perfect parent. It’s about being a present one. 💛
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