Research Suggests that Second Child Causes More Stress to Parents

The thought of welcoming a second child into the family brings a whirlwind of emotions – excitement, joy, and anticipation. While parenting is a beautiful journey, many are unaware that a second child causes more stress, often making the transition harder than expected. For many parents, the idea of expanding their family seems natural, especially after they’ve already navigated the highs and lows of raising their first child. After all, experience brings wisdom, and many believe that having a second child will be easier with the lessons learned from their first.

But what if I told you that research conducted in 2018 suggests otherwise? While many parents expect the transition to a second child to be smoother, recent studies have revealed something surprising: second child causes more stress than expected, challenging the belief that prior experience makes things easier.

A study conducted by researchers from the University of Melbourne, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, sheds light on the challenging effects of having a second child. This research highlights how time pressures and mental health strains significantly rise after the arrival of a second baby – and not just for mothers, but for both parents.

But what happens to these patterns as we move into 2025? The world has changed drastically in the past seven years, and so have the stressors parents face. While the core challenges of raising children remain similar, newer dynamics, such as technological advancements, changes in work culture, and social media influence, have added layers of complexity to parenting stress. Let’s explore how both the earlier research and recent trends are shaping the experience of raising a second child today.

The Research: Does a Second Child Increase Parental Stress?

The University of Melbourne conducted an insightful study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, to understand the impact of having a first and second child on parents’ mental health and time pressures. This research analyzed data from the Household, Income, and Labour Dynamics in Australia Survey and followed the lives of 20,000 Australians over 16 years.

Key Insights from 2018 Research

The research conducted in 2018 showed that having a second child often leads to increased stress due to several factors:

Time Constraints: With two children, parents often find it harder to juggle time between work, home duties, and childcare. The sheer number of tasks, from feeding and changing to schooling and extracurricular activities, can feel like an endless cycle.

Stress Levels Rise: Both parents experience increased stress after the birth of a second child, but mothers are particularly affected. The study confirms that second child causes more stress for both parents, but mothers experience a sharper decline in their well-being.

Mental Health Decline: Mothers report a sharper decline in mental health compared to fathers. One of the reasons why second child causes more stress is the constant juggling between the needs of the firstborn and the newborn, leaving little to no personal time.

Unequal Impact: While both parents feel the pressure, mothers report feeling twice as much time pressure as fathers due to their primary caregiving role.

Emotional Stress: While the first child may be a novelty, the second child brings about feelings of guilt, anxiety, and fear. Parents fear that they won’t be able to love both children equally or fear that the second child will not get as much attention as the first.

Financial Pressure: Raising two children requires more resources, and the additional costs often heighten the sense of financial strain. This can affect overall mental well-being, as parents may constantly worry about providing for their growing family.

Decreased Self-care: Parents of multiple children often report feeling like they’ve lost their sense of self. With less time for self-care, mental and physical health can take a backseat, exacerbating the feeling of stress.

The study underscores a reality that many parents face: While the joy of having a second child is undeniable, the added responsibilities make parenting significantly more demanding.

How the Landscape Has Changed: Parenting Stress in 2025

While these factors still play a role, recent changes in society, work culture, and family dynamics have created new layers of stress for parents. The experience of raising a second child today may look quite different from what the research in 2018 described. Here’s a breakdown of how the landscape has evolved:

Impact of Technology and Work-life Blending

In today’s digital age, where work and home life are increasingly intertwined, it’s clear that having a second child causes more stress, as parents struggle to meet their professional and family demands.

The rise of remote work and digital communication has made work-life balance more challenging for many parents. While it’s convenient to work from home, the lack of clear boundaries between work and home life can lead to burnout. Parents are now expected to be more available at all times, often working late into the night or multitasking during the day. This phenomenon, known as “work-life blending,” has created an environment where parenting stressors are compounded by work expectations, making it harder for parents to find moments of peace.

Example: “In 2023, a study found that 72% of working parents felt that managing both home responsibilities and professional obligations during remote work led to higher stress levels, especially when raising multiple children. Parents reported struggling to maintain focus on their children’s needs while also meeting work deadlines.”

Social Media and Parental Comparison

Social media has introduced a new pressure for parents—comparing their parenting to the “perfect” lives showcased online. The idea of “parenting perfection” shared on platforms like Instagram and Facebook can create unrealistic expectations, often leading to increased stress. Parents may feel they are not doing enough or fear their children are missing out on experiences seen online, intensifying feelings of inadequacy.

Seeing curated images of “effortless parenting” online only worsens the situation, reinforcing the reality that in most households, a second child causes more stress than what social media portrays.

Example: “As a mom who went through the pandemic with a second child, I can attest that the added stress is more complex than ever before. It’s not just the physical demands of caring for two children but managing digital learning, online social interactions, and the fear of not being enough for both my family and my career.”

Pandemic and Virtual Schooling

The global pandemic forced many families to adapt to virtual schooling, adding another layer of stress for parents raising multiple children. Parents found themselves balancing homeschooling with their own professional obligations, a challenge that wasn’t present in 2018.

Example: “During the pandemic, juggling virtual learning for two children was a huge stressor. Parents who had previously only managed one child’s schooling found themselves stretched thin, trying to facilitate online classes, homework, and additional home responsibilities.”

Also read: To My Second Child

Real Parenting Stories from 2025: Different Views, Same Struggle

In 2025, parents’ experiences with raising a second child continue to be shaped by both long-standing challenges and new stressors. Below are real-life stories from parents in 2025, offering a balance of perspectives—some who resonate with the idea that raising a second child is more stressful and others who feel differently.

Story 1: “It’s Tougher Than Ever!”

“I have two children, a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old, and honestly, it feels like my life has been turned upside down. In 2018, when I had my first child, things were manageable, even though I was stressed. But now, with two kids, the pressure is immense. Both kids need my attention, and there’s hardly any time for myself. Working from home has only made things worse—my work calls keep getting interrupted, and my kids are constantly demanding something from me. I’m struggling to keep up, and I miss the days when things were simpler. The research about second-child stress totally hits home for me. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m always behind.” – Priya, 34

Like many parents, Priya agrees that her second child causes more stress, making her nostalgic for the simpler days of handling just one child.

Story 2: “It’s Manageable, and I’ve Got the Hang of It”

“I have two children, ages 3 and 5, and I honestly don’t feel like the stress is any more than what I experienced with one child. Yes, there are days when things are hectic, especially when juggling work and kids’ schedules. But I’ve learned how to manage my time better. I’ve also learned to ask for help when I need it—whether it’s from my partner or my family. The second child doesn’t double the stress for me; it just changes the rhythm of life. The research about higher stress with a second child didn’t apply to me at all. Parenting is about perspective, and I’ve got a system that works for us.” – Anjali, 39

Story 3: “The Emotional Toll Is Real”

“My second child is almost one, and I can say that the emotional toll is much heavier than I expected. With my first child, I was more prepared emotionally. But with the second, I feel guilty every day. I feel like I’m not giving enough attention to my older son because the baby needs constant care. I’m constantly worrying about whether I’m doing enough. It’s draining. I sometimes feel like I’m failing both as a parent and as a person. The second child certainly changed the dynamics in ways I wasn’t prepared for.” – Rina, 30

The guilt of dividing attention between two children is a key reason why the second child causes more stress for mothers, leaving them emotionally exhausted.

Story 4: “It’s All About Routine”

“Having two kids, a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old, has been an adjustment, but we’ve found a good rhythm. Yes, it’s hard at times, but we stick to a solid routine that helps manage the chaos. My husband and I split the chores and responsibilities. We also take turns with the kids to have personal time, which is so important. The stress doesn’t feel overwhelming because we know we’re in it together. I don’t agree with the idea that having a second child is automatically more stressful—it’s about finding balance and keeping perspective.” – Nisha, 38

Story 5: “The Struggle is Real, But We’re Learning”

“I have two kids under 5, and let me tell you, it has been the most exhausting experience of my life. The physical demands are constant, and I feel like there’s no time for me anymore. I’m always juggling between playdates, tantrums, and meal prep, and sometimes I feel so drained that I just want to cry. I never expected it to be this hard. But I’ve learned to take things one day at a time and not be too hard on myself. Every day is a new challenge, and I just try to handle it the best I can.” – Sonal, 33

FAQs: Managing Stress When Raising a Second Child

1. Why is raising a second child more stressful than having one?

Having a second child increases the responsibilities, time demands, and emotional investments needed from parents. The first child often feels like a novelty, but the second child brings new dynamics to the family, such as managing the attention of two children and balancing different needs. Plus, the added financial burden and the emotional struggle of dividing love and attention can increase stress.

The biggest factor that explains why a second child causes more stress is the cumulative effect of sleep deprivation, increased financial burden, and the need to balance multiple schedules.

2. Does work-life blending really affect parenting stress?

Yes. The shift towards remote work has blurred the lines between personal and professional life, making it harder to balance both. Parents are expected to be available for work while also managing household and childcare duties. This constant juggling can lead to burnout, especially for parents of two or more children.

3. How can I reduce stress as a parent of two children?

Managing stress starts with self-care, asking for help, and practicing time management. Setting boundaries between work and personal time, taking breaks when needed, and nurturing your mental health through mindfulness or hobbies are crucial. Having a support system, whether it’s family, friends, or an online parenting community, can also provide relief.

4. How do I manage the feeling of comparison when seeing other parents online?

It’s important to remember that social media often showcases the highlight reel of people’s lives, not the full picture. Focusing on your family’s unique journey and setting personal goals can help reduce the pressure. Sharing experiences with other parents who understand your struggles can also provide reassurance.

5. Is it possible to avoid feeling overwhelmed with a second child?

While it’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times, it’s possible to manage the stress by staying organized, asking for support, and practicing self-compassion. There’s no “perfect” parenting method, and every family finds their own rhythm. Embrace the mess and learn to enjoy the small moments. While stress is inevitable, understanding why a second child causes more stress can help parents implement strategies to ease the transition and find a manageable routine.

Related read: Research Reveals Having a Second Child Worsens Parental Stress and Mental Health

Conclusion

Parenting a second child is often associated with higher levels of stress, and research from 2018 helps explain why. Acknowledging that a second child causes more stress does not mean parents love their children any less—it simply means adjustments and coping strategies are necessary to maintain balance.

Moreover, the parenting landscape has shifted significantly in the past seven years, introducing new challenges and new opportunities. By staying informed, prioritizing self-care, and finding a support system, parents can manage stress effectively. Whether you resonate with the insights from the research or feel that your experience has been different, the key to managing parenting stress lies in embracing the journey with patience, compassion, and flexibility.

Parenting is a dynamic journey, and while stress is inevitable, so are the opportunities for growth and joy. By acknowledging the unique challenges of today’s parenting world and continuing to support each other, we can create a healthier, more balanced environment for ourselves and our children.

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