How I Overcame My Child’s Stubborn Behavior!

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re feeling a mix of frustration, sadness, and maybe even guilt about your child’s behavior. Believe me, I’ve been there.

There was a time when my son’s behavior was so difficult I felt like I was failing as a mom. He was stubborn, refused to listen, and his temper tantrums seemed to get worse every day. My husband and I tried everything—discipline, reasoning, ignoring, even shouting out of sheer frustration—but nothing worked.

I cried countless nights, blamed myself, and wondered what went wrong. My mind would race with questions like, Is he just going through a phase? Is it something we’re doing wrong? I even entertained thoughts about sending him to a boarding school, hoping distance and discipline would “fix” things.

But then, something shifted. I decided to stop looking at him as a “problem” and started seeing him as a child who needed my help and love in a different way. Today, my relationship with my son is better than ever, and his behavior has improved dramatically. Here’s what worked for me—practical steps that any parent can try.

Start With Yourself: Energy Matters

I know this might sound strange, but I realized my energy—my frustration, anger, and hopelessness—was feeding into his behavior. Kids are like sponges; they absorb what we project, even when we think we’re hiding it.

• Break the negative cycle: Every time I thought, Why won’t he listen? I replaced it with, He’s learning to listen. He respects me. At first, it felt forced, but over time, it shifted how I approached him.
• Visualize positive interactions: Before bed, I spent a few minutes picturing my son and me laughing, hugging, and getting along. This helped me approach him with a calmer, more positive mindset every day.

Build Trust Through Connection, Not Correction

Children often act out when they feel unheard or disconnected. I realized I was spending so much time correcting my son that I wasn’t truly connecting with him.

• One-on-one time: I carved out 20 minutes every day where it was just us—no phones, no distractions. Sometimes we played his favorite game; other times, we just talked.
• Empathy over discipline: Instead of jumping to correct him, I started asking, “Why do you think you felt that way?” This simple change helped him feel understood.

Set Clear Expectations With Flexibility

One of the biggest breakthroughs came when I involved him in creating rules. I learned that kids are more likely to follow rules they help set.

• Co-create rules: We sat together and listed behaviors that were important to both of us, like showing respect and listening.
• Flexible consequences: Instead of rigid punishments, we brainstormed together what should happen if he broke a rule. This gave him a sense of ownership and accountability.

Teach Emotional Regulation

My son didn’t have the tools to express his feelings, so he resorted to stubbornness and tantrums. Together, we worked on building his emotional vocabulary and calming strategies.

• Feelings chart: I created a chart with different emotions and encouraged him to point out how he felt when upset.
• Calm-down corner: We set up a small space with pillows, a journal, and sensory toys where he could retreat when overwhelmed. This wasn’t a “time-out” but a place for him to regain control.
• Deep breathing exercises: Before bed, we practiced breathing techniques. Over time, he started using them during meltdowns.

Use the Power of Positive Reinforcement

Instead of focusing on what he was doing wrong, I made a conscious effort to notice and praise what he was doing right—even if it was something small.

• Specific praise: Instead of saying, “Good job,” I said, “I’m really proud of how you listened to me the first time today.” This helped him associate positive behavior with positive attention.
• Reward system: We created a simple chart where he earned stars for respectful behavior and completed tasks. Small rewards, like choosing a family movie night, kept him motivated.

Trust the Law of Attraction: Parenting With Positivity

I truly believe that what we focus on grows. The more I obsessed over my son’s stubbornness, the worse it seemed to get. When I shifted my focus to his good qualities, things started changing.

• Gratitude journaling: Every night, I wrote down three things I was grateful for about him. Even on tough days, I found something, like, “He smiled at his sister,” or “He finished his homework.”
• Morning mantra: I started each day by saying, I am a patient, loving parent, and my child is learning and growing every day.

The Boarding School Dilemma

At one point, my husband and I seriously considered sending him to boarding school. But deep down, I knew I wasn’t ready to let go. Instead, I gave myself 6 months to try these strategies. To my surprise, they worked well enough that I no longer felt the need to send him away.

That being said, every family and child is different. If you’re considering boarding school, ensure it’s for the right reasons and that you’ve tried everything else first.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

There were moments when I felt like I couldn’t do this anymore, but I learned that patience, consistency, and love can work wonders. It’s not easy, and change doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s possible.

You’re not a failure. You’re a parent who’s trying your best, and that’s enough.

What about you? If you’ve faced a similar situation, I’d love to hear what worked for you. Let’s support each other on this journey of parenting—it’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up.

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