Parenting is a learning journey!
Thank you, Momyhood, for giving me an opportunity to share about my learning experiences in parenting.
Hi, I am Subulakshmi. I have a 3+ year old daughter. My husband and I recently moved to another country from India due to personal commitments and a desire for mental peace. It was a lonely lifestyle without friends, neighbors, and, of course, we tried our best to take my daughter outside and spend time interacting with her more so that she would not feel alone. She also started school. As everyone knows, it is not easy to stay away from family.
I quit my job before coming here after 9+ years of experience in a corporate setting. Initially, everything was smooth, but as the days passed, I felt frustrated, and my overthinking ruined my mental peace. So I decided to enroll myself in several courses to distract myself. Later, this became a more serious passion where I made a big mistake.
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I started my passion as an online teacher, fully occupied with classes on one side and my courses on the other side. After 1 month, I could notice some changes in my daughter. Her behavior and tantrums increased too much. One day, it escalated to the extent where I couldn’t control her, and I shouted at her. She cried a lot, and it led to an argument between me and my husband.
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The next day, my little owl came to me and said:
Little owl: “Amma, sorry…”
Me: “Why did you behave like that yesterday? What happened to you?”
Little owl: “Amma, I need another baby in our house.”
Me: “In dilemma, why? You are still a baby. Already, we are in a small house where we do not have much comfortable space for you to play, so we can’t handle another baby,” and changed the topic.
Little owl: “Again, amma, don’t worry… you don’t need to get toys for that baby. I will share all my things.”
Me: “What’s happening now?”
Little owl: “See, amma, nowadays you are not spending much time with me like before. I don’t have any friends here. I am bored and alone. If we could have another baby at home, I will be busy taking care of that baby. I will not disturb you. You can continue your work.”
Me: Realized my mistake and understood, “She wants only me.”
How can this 3-year-old clearly express her emotions along with her own way of solving the problem? Actually, we expect our children to learn from us, but in reality, we learn from them. There are many working parents who still feel guilty for not being able to spend much time with their children. At the same time, stay-at-home moms have guilt for not being able to restart their careers.
As a woman, as a mother, whether you contribute to reducing the family’s financial burden or not, whether you work or not – you are the best mom to your child. Think before taking action, remember those little hands still need you to hold them for some more time. Throw away your guilt and just accept reality and plan your life. Plan and balance both career and family if you still feel your career is important.
My passion started as an online teacher where most of my students have issues like learning disabilities, Autism, behavioral problems, etc. I know so many children who are struggling to interact and socialize in public places too, including stores and parks. Sometimes these children were ignored among other children or parents in public places due to their behavior, which I am seeing in my surroundings every day. I think society still needs to support and encourage special children, and thus my journey started as a special educator.
It is not an easy thing for parents to raise children with special needs. Education is the same for all children, but special children need some additional support to be confident. I wish to be a helping hand to guide their mental state as well. I wish to create a community where I could empower those parents and support children educationally and emotionally.
Thus, I created my Instagram page an_owls_palette, where I will be sharing content related to homeschooling, parenting, special education talks, emotional intelligence, right brain education, etc. Hold my hand, let’s support each other in giving our children a peaceful environment, and let them shine strong emotionally and confidently in this world.
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