As I embrace my little one, I remember a lot of buzzing and excited noises around me. I was happy but not fully present. There was a fog covering my emotions. There was a sense of sadness hiding in a corner, just ready to pop out. Many might not know, and neither did I. This foggy emotion is the Post-Partum depression.
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Yes! It Is Real!
Post-partum depression is an invisible vile created by our hormones; each new mother experiences it differently. For some mothers, PostPartum Depression sets in and fades out in a few weeks after delivery; for some, it shows its presence.
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Postpartum depression can make you feel guilty and ashamed, and you may feel depressed. Why? I am not as happy as everyone around me. Hang in there! These feelings are normal. It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom.
Our body needs time to heal itself. As a new mother, there is so much to adjust. Don’t pressure yourself; give time to yourself and your baby. Also, take note of your feelings & day to day changes.
When I delivered my little bub, I was lying in a hospital bed without any feelings, just looking around the happy and worried faces. The delivery process is super exhausting. When we came back home, my family members were relaxed. They left me with my baby to rest. That single moment made me so anxious that I ran towards the hall and cried; I told them not to leave me alone. I don’t know how to take care of this tiny newborn. Why did the baby start crying all of a sudden?
Imagine the havoc your brain is experiencing when you are dealing with hormones. I suggest you keep talking to your family and doctor and try to explain what you are experiencing. The doctor is the best person to figure out if you are in post-partum depression and what should be done next.
What are a few other things you might feel during the first few weeks after delivery:
- Sleep-deprived as you have to nurse.
- Fatigue
- Restlessness due to body pain.
- Feeling disconnected.
- No interest in other activities.
- Panic attacks.
- Crying episodes.
- Not able to bond with your baby.
These are the few things I followed to withstand Post-Partum depression:
- Make sure your family members are around before the due date approaches. (Your Parents, Spouse, In-Laws and especially your Maid)
- Ask for help from experienced moms. In the next doctor visit, share your feeling with the doctor.
- Don’t shy away. Breastfeeding needs help.
- Let the Sun rays touch your skin. (close the windows; don’t let the wind give chills you)
- Eat, Eat & Eat a lot of healthy food that your Mom, In-Laws, or your Maid cooks for you. (Add a lot of Ghee to your diet).
- Talk, Talk & Talk; keep someone near you every time you are up from sleep. ( Write down each experience in a diary, it helps a lot)
- Rest, don’t let social media take your rest time.
- Let the smell of your little bud, the aroma of baby creams and powder, sink in.
- While Breastfeeding, sing songs or tell stories to your baby. Lightly brush the hairline, and trace those little fingers. (Let there be a lot of skin to skin)
- Observe your baby’s reaction when others are entertaining your lovely baby.
- When your pain recedes, practice massaging the baby yourself. (Learn a few simple massages).
What Can Post-partum Depression Do?
Postpartum depression can cause new moms to feel an intense amount of pressure to perform “perfectly” as a mother. Try accepting the fact that this is impossible. Accepting the fact is an important step toward coping. After all, there is no such thing as a perfect home or a happy child.
You need to be aware of your limits right now and are priorities right now. Accept your limits right now, and remember that this is just a time frame for you and your baby.
It’s important to recognize that being a mother doesn’t have to be a loner experience. You are not alone in this experience. You have your family, friends, and a whole community to help you through post-partum depression.
Take Help
This is the great era of online. There are great online groups that you can join to get in touch with other moms even while breastfeeding or if you are up again in the middle of the night.
Similarly, I joined a mom-only group on Facebook. Discussions and new moms were pouring their questions and misery. I asked a question once; “My 7-month-old bub is not leaving for a minute, and I am not able to do any chores.”
I received many answ ers promptly:
- Your household chores can wait.
- Learn to allocate simple tasks to other family members
- Keep a maid for simple takes.
- Keep a few tasks aside while the baby sleeps.
- Sleep with the baby.
- Don’t pressure yourself.
I say be Active!!
When you’re a busy, tired mommy, how can you fit exercise in? There is hardly any baby who does not enjoy movement. So put your kid in a stroller and take a walk with him or her. Check here How to Get Back to Exercising After Pregnancy?
We bought a stroller when my baby was about 5 months. Every morning and evening, I used to take my baby out. A little sunshine in the morning and the evening lot of other kids and moms around. It freshens ups you as well as the baby can see there is a world outside the four walls.
When it comes to postpartum depression, remember that it takes time to recover completely. To heal, you must have patience, and you must be gentle with yourself. It won’t be possible for you to make all of the changes that you wish to make to your life in a single day or even in a single week. The suggestions here are, on the whole, only suggestions.
As your baby grows, keep in touch with your friends and loved ones. They can help answer any questions and concerns you have, especially when you feel overwhelmed by the daily demands of parenting a newborn. Regardless of what happens, never forget that you are stronger than you think. Don’t lose hope; you’ll be ok, and everything will work out for you.
Lastly, Never think the baby bought the pain; do not let the Post-Partum depression win.
Baby is your extension, your creation. Pain will fade away eventually. This bundle of Joy is going to be lifelong exuberance.
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