I never thought I’d be the kind of parent who would lose my child’s trust. But here I am, sharing my story in the hope that someone else might avoid the mistake I made.
It was a typical Thursday evening. My 9-year-old son, Rohan, came home from school looking unusually quiet. He’s usually full of energy, telling me about his day, but that day, he just sat at the dining table, playing with his food. I asked him what was wrong, and he hesitated, then finally said, “Mom, I don’t think I’m good at anything.”
I was taken aback. Rohan had always been confident, always eager to try new things. I couldn’t understand why he would say something like that. So, I brushed it off, thinking it was just a phase, something minor that he’d forget about by the next day.
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But he didn’t. Over the next few days, I noticed he wasn’t his usual self. He didn’t want to play outside with his friends, and he stopped talking about his favorite hobbies. I started to worry, but I still didn’t take it seriously. I thought maybe he was just feeling a bit down, and that it would pass.
One evening, he finally opened up to me. “Mom, something happened at school,” he said, his voice trembling. He went on to tell me that some of the other kids had been making fun of him during recess, calling him names and telling him he was useless. My heart sank, but instead of comforting him, I found myself saying, “Rohan, you’re just being sensitive. Kids tease each other all the time.”
He looked at me with those big, sad eyes, and I could see the hurt in them. “But Mom, it really hurts,” he whispered. But I was too caught up in my own thoughts, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal, that he’d get over it. I told him to be strong and to ignore them, thinking I was helping him toughen up.
The next day, I got a call from his teacher. She told me that Rohan had been unusually withdrawn in class, that he wasn’t participating like he used to, and that he’d even cried during a group activity. She asked if everything was okay at home.
That’s when it hit me. I had dismissed my own child’s feelings, convinced that I knew better. I felt a deep pang of guilt, realizing that in trying to make him “tough,” I had invalidated his very real pain. I had failed to see that my little boy was struggling, and instead of being his safe haven, I had brushed him aside.
That evening, I sat down with Rohan, and with tears in my eyes, I apologized. I told him I was sorry for not believing him, for not being there when he needed me most. I told him it was okay to feel hurt, and that it was my job to help him through it, not tell him to ignore it.
Rohan looked at me for a long time, and then he finally said, “It’s okay, Mom.” But I could see that it wasn’t okay. I had damaged something precious—his trust in me. I had taught him that his feelings didn’t matter, and that was a lesson I never wanted him to learn.
It took time, but slowly, we worked through it together. I started listening more, really listening, and I made sure he knew that his feelings were valid, no matter what they were. Our bond began to heal, but I’ll never forget the moment I almost lost it.
So, to every parent reading this, please don’t make the same mistake I did. When your child comes to you with their worries, no matter how small they seem, listen. Don’t dismiss their feelings or try to downplay them. Our children need to know that they can trust us, that we’ll be there for them, and that their emotions are important. Because in the end, their trust is the most valuable thing we have.
Moral: Always listen to your child’s feelings with empathy and understanding. Trust is built on being there for them, especially when they are most vulnerable.
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