I made a simple change in my approach, nothing groundbreaking. The key factor was “APPRECIATION,” which translates to increased happiness and optimism. And in my case, it made a significant difference.
Often, we neglect to express our appreciation and recognition to our children when they exhibit positive behavior or do something right. Showing appreciation plays a vital role in fostering their self-confidence. Even a small phrase like “Good job!” in response to a simple task such as putting away their toys can have a profound impact on a child’s self-esteem. It instantly boosts their motivation to improve and do things more effectively.
It’s not accurate to say that Hitarth never listened to me before, but rather that his compliance depended on his mood. If he felt like agreeing, he would; otherwise, he would ignore my requests. For example, there were times when he outright refused to put his toys away after playing, and I would only get a response after raising my voice. Looking back, I realize that I was mistaken in my approach.
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We often expect our children to perform household tasks and fulfill their responsibilities without complaint, but we frequently forget to show our appreciation. Furthermore, we tend to focus on what they haven’t done rather than acknowledging the little things they have actually accomplished.
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To be honest, I wasn’t overly concerned about Hitarth’s lack of obedience, as I thought my expectations might be too high for a 3-year-old. However, about a month ago, when I consistently heard “no” from him, I decided it was time to change my parenting approach.
The key change I made was when his father returned from the office. I took the opportunity to tell him, “You know what? Hitarth is becoming such a big and good boy. He listened to me and helped me with everything.” In response, his father also appreciated Hitarth, saying, “Wow! You have indeed become a good boy now.”
The moment we praised him for his actions that day, Hitarth understood that we wanted him to continue behaving in that manner. Additionally, he may have realized that his actions were being observed. In reply, he said, “Yes, Papa! I did everything with Mumma, and now I have become a good boy.”
And that was the turning point!
Children crave love and attention, so they will continue to seek our praise. By showing them how much we appreciate their efforts, they won’t feel ignored. As adults, it’s important for us to recognize that our children need and desire our undivided focus and attention. Continue reading to discover the further benefits we experienced through this appreciation approach.
Since then, whenever Hitarth does something commendable, I inform his dad in the same way as I did on that day, and he eagerly awaits his father’s praise every time.
You know, as a mother, what more could I ask for, right? I’m not suggesting that we should offer excessive praise and ignore their negative behaviors, but it’s crucial to be mindful that criticism can deeply affect a child’s self-esteem. So, whenever you have the opportunity, try to appreciate their efforts.
Now, even before undertaking any task, Hitarth begins to praise himself. He keeps saying, “I’m a good boy; I’ve grown up, and I accept everything you say, Mumma.” And I’m like, “YEAAHHH!” I hear this exact sentence from him at least 20 times a day now. It’s quite amusing! LOL!
When Hitarth doesn’t listen, I have started asking him, “Are you being a bad boy now?” Surprisingly, he immediately agrees. So, now I would like to share some of the benefits of using this appreciation technique, or rather, the behavioral changes that both Hitarth and I have experienced.
- Improved discipline
- His screen time is managed.
- He lets me do my work peacefully.
- Started eating his meals without a phone, THANKFULLY!
- Puts his toys back in the box every day without me asking for it.
- He agrees on the timing of our park visits, which was definitely not the case earlier.
- Keeps the house clean and shows me every time after doing it because he knows he did a good job and deserves appreciation.
- And much more….
- And for me, I am less stressed with NO shouting at all & I WOULD SAY I AM AN EXTREMELY HAPPY MOM NOW! TOUCHWOOD!
Lastly, I would like to emphasize that giving your child attention through appreciation is an approach we should always consider.
When children do not receive attention in this positive way, they may feel neglected and resort to seeking attention through other means, which are likely to be undesirable. Therefore, it is crucial to express our gratitude towards our children in some way.
Showing appreciation for their hard work and efforts is essential. Let them know how much you value their contributions. Consider it as a form of encouragement specifically directed towards them.
Make a point to acknowledge even the smallest steps they take towards improvement and communicate this to them. For instance, praising a child with a “good job” when they complete their homework on time or expressing “well done” after they have tidied up their room properly can work wonders in fostering their discipline and sense of responsibility as they grow up.
I hope that I have been able to provide some helpful insights to all the moms out there with this important and encouraging tip.
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