”Mumma, You Work in the Kitchen, So You Pick it”: A Teachable Moment!

When you are a mother, life is filled with countless teachable moments. One such moment occurred recently when my 5-year-old son, Aarav, made a statement that stopped me in my tracks — a moment that made me reflect deeply on gender roles in parenting.

As we were finishing lunch, I asked Aarav to clean up the dishes, and he casually replied,
“Mumma, you work in the kitchen, so you pick these and keep them in the sink.”

His words hung in the air, and I felt a mixture of surprise, concern, and determination. It made me realize how easily children absorb the world around them, often drawing conclusions that may not align with the values we try to instill in them. I understood that this was a perfect opportunity to address gender roles in parenting and teach Aarav an important lesson about sharing household responsibilities and breaking gender stereotypes early on.

Initial Reaction and Reflection

Initially, I felt a twinge of sadness. As a homemaker, I take pride in managing the household. I understand that Aarav often sees me in the kitchen preparing meals and taking care of domestic chores. His innocent comment made me wonder if he believed that only women should do certain tasks.

It struck me that gender roles in parenting don’t always come from explicit teaching — they’re learned from what children observe at home. And unless we challenge these gender stereotypes in children, they may grow up believing them.

Small, everyday interactions like this shape how children perceive gender roles in parenting, making it essential for us to be conscious of what we model at home.

After taking a deep breath, I decided to address this topic with Aarav calmly and lovingly. I knew that my response would shape his understanding of equality, respect, and family responsibilities.

Ignoring these small but telling moments can unintentionally reinforce traditional gender roles in parenting, which is why awareness and intervention matter so much.

The Conversation

I knelt down to his level and looked into his eyes.

“Aarav,” I said gently, “everyone in the family helps with different tasks, and it’s important for everyone to share responsibilities, including picking up our own things.”

I explained to him that while I often cook and clean, it doesn’t mean these tasks are only for women.
“Dad also helps in the kitchen, doesn’t he?” I asked, reminding him of the times his father cooked dinner or did the dishes.

Aarav nodded, slowly realizing that both men and women can perform any task at home. That moment became a gentle, powerful step toward raising a boy without gender bias.

Teaching Through Example

To reinforce the message, I decided to involve Aarav in daily chores, making them fun and engaging. We started cooking together, and I showed him how to handle small tasks like setting the table and sorting laundry. This not only made him feel important, but also helped him understand that household chores aren’t gendered.

To make this lesson more consistent, we created a new family tradition: every weekend, the three of us — Aarav, his dad, and I — would cook one meal together. This not only made chores more enjoyable but also emphasized equal responsibilities and teamwork.

We also talked about people he admires — from teachers to family members — and how everyone contributes, regardless of gender. These were simple but effective ways of teaching life skills at home through example.

By actively involving children in diverse tasks, we can dismantle outdated gender roles in parenting and replace them with values rooted in fairness and mutual respect.

Encouraging Open Dialogue

I encouraged Aarav to ask questions and express his thoughts. Keeping the lines of communication open is vital. Children learn best when they feel heard and safe.

We also read children’s books and watched shows that present diverse roles and responsibilities, helping him form a broader worldview beyond outdated beliefs. These tools helped us introduce concepts like respect, contribution, and community involvement, all part of mindful parenting.

Related read: 5 parenting mistakes that unconsciously promote gender bias in children

A Lesson in Equality

This experience reminded me of the importance of tackling gender roles in parenting early. Children are impressionable, and it’s our job to guide them toward equality and empathy.

By involving my son in these discussions and actions, I felt we were breaking stereotypes and shaping the foundation for a more respectful future. As parents, we must model what we wish to see — and ensure that children understand that contribution at home is everyone’s responsibility, regardless of gender.

Final Words

Raising children today takes more than discipline or routine — it requires patience, awareness, and open-mindedness. As parents, we are the sculptors of future values, and each moment is a chance to teach something meaningful.

By choosing to talk openly about gender equality at home, by sharing household chores with kids, and by being mindful of the messages we send through our actions, we prepare them to live in a world where everyone is respected and valued.

Let’s remember — the conversations we have today will shape the adults of tomorrow.
Here’s to raising a generation that doesn’t just repeat the past, but rewrites the future — with fairness, compassion, and equal opportunities for all.

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