Chapter 3 : One Aspect Of Failure: Each Kid Is One Of A Kind

Recognition of oneself and being obsessed with self-love isn’t a crime, dear, but the limits should be noted. 

Originally published on Jan 31, 2022 | Updated on July 19, 2025 with added insights to help more parents let children follow their dreams.

As parents, the greatest gift we can give is to let children follow their dreams — not shape their lives by the shadows of our own unfulfilled ones.

The problem persists when we, as parents, see our dreams coming true through our little ones. Then, when their little and tender shoulders have to bear our dreams or our failures rather, they get stressed.

‘I wanted to be a doctor… But circumstances didn’t get right. No problem, my kid will make this come true……’.

What’s that? Is it fair to load him/her with such decisions? Don’t they deserve their own abilities, interest, and career choice?

Let them fly high and experience in their own way. Exploring the world from their best perspective will help them excel in their lives with flying colors. A passion drives you better than forced decisions. No doubts, as a parent, we are completely natural when we guide them. We want the best for them is the truest truth. But letting them choose is also our responsibility towards them.

When we let children follow their dreams, we empower them to build a future filled with purpose and joy. Each child has different interests and passions—and it’s our job as parents to nurture those unique abilities, not control them.

The most beautiful future unfolds when we stop controlling the path and simply let children follow their dreams with confidence and courage.

Each one is different. These are little moons 🌙 and stars🌟. They will shine when their time comes. 

Each kid is one of a kind. They can not excel everywhere. We, as a parent, need to understand that they have different capabilities and expertise. So, why compare?

Instead of comparing, let’s celebrate the fact that every child is different. Some may shine in academics, while others bloom in creativity or sports. The mental health of children thrives when they are allowed to follow their passion without fear of judgment or pressure.

When we instill our wishes and dreams to enchant their lives, we forget to say that it’s completely fine if they don’t want to pursue the same or want to go for something else. Their achievements are always celebrated. But what about the scars of failures? ‘

To my kids, I would like to text that their happiness to me is more important than their success accompanied by stress.

Also read: Chapter – 1 || Parenting In General And Disciplining Being Specific

Each Kid Is Different

Let me start with a short story. Once a girl, a good student, and a great daughter were married at a small age. She always dreamt of being recognized as a career woman and not as a homemaker as she has always seen her mother struggling for little things and dependent on even minor decisions. But destiny had planned something else, and she was married.

All were typically Indian household types. I think all of you can understand here as more is explained in fewer words.

Then when her daughter was born, she promised herself that she would not let history repeat itself. Her daughter will choose her career as an IPS. The baby is still smiling in her arms, and she has made the tough decision. Is it right? I am not doubting her as a mother but is this fair.

Then soon, three years passed, and she ran behind the little girl forcing her to study all the time. She wanted her daughter to be the best.

Her intentions were pure, but sometimes in the quest to fulfill our dreams through our children, we unintentionally rob them of their own choices. Shouldn’t we instead let children follow their dreams—without the burden of ours?

But where is her ‘bachpan’? Once lost, it will never come back. She became worse as the child reached teenage. The little girl worked hard, was a topper of the class, was the star of her family and friends. Teachers were never tired of admiring her. Her adolescence was too lost in books.

Now starts the phase she needs to work hard to qualify for IPS. But she viewed that she was not interested in the field, but her mother’s dreams pushed her to study and prepare day and night. Unfortunately, the outcome wasn’t a happy one. She didn’t qualify for the exam. Got fewer scores. And……and….and 😭 her mother still sits at the door waiting for her daughter to return…. 😭 It’s almost four years now, and she is still waiting…… may be failure didn’t give the poor girl courage to face her mother back.

This can be any daughter. So, let’s change the trend of success to many chances and choices for everyone. Let’s embrace them with the magical words, ‘YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLION.’

It’s time to change our definition of success — from achievements forced by stress to a life where we let children follow their dreams freely and happily.

This story reflects what so many families go through silently. Success should never come at the cost of emotional well-being. We must create a world where children feel safe to fail, to grow, and to follow their chosen path. Let’s stop the cycle of parental pressure and let children follow their dreams freely.

Also read: Every kid has a talent that we should encourage

Code Red: Stop

• Demoralizing the ones who can’t cope with the success of their friends and family.
• Burdening their shoulders with your dreams.
• Stressing their lives with your decisive goals.
• Exaggeration of success.
• Misbehaving on their failure.
• Proving them worthless as compared to their peers.
• Making them your gadgets and show off means.

Code Great: Allow

• Training them to enjoy failures at the early stage.
• Celebrate the scars failure leave on their innocence and thought process.
• A happy environment before and after the results, irrespective of the results.
• Give them your positivity and company no matter what the circumstances are.
• Motivation to restore and restart.
• Trust the ability to ensure them a safe and protected environment.
• Enchanted and lively life of care and mental health.

Always remember — your child’s happiness lies in being accepted for who they are. When we let children follow their dreams, we’re not letting go, we’re holding their hand as they walk their own path. Because the greatest success is raising a child who is proud of themselves.

Dear parents, no matter what the results are, always remember — it’s more fulfilling to let children follow their dreams than to push them into ours.

Winding up on a positive note, I would like to add a few lines:

You are my star,

You are my pride,

Always remember dearies

From a mother’s heart 💖 you never are far…

Feel free to come and hug…

In tough times.

I am always there for you 🥰

In your success and failure.

Dedicated to my kids ☺️

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