Having a child is no cakewalk. Parenting begins right when the child is conceived, and the parents come to know about it. It is rightly said that the process of birth results in the newborn child and the new parents. Henceforth, everything in life changes for the new parents. No one ever has had it all easy when it comes to parenting. You learn each day, and each day you grow as a parent. Here in this blog, I will be sharing some tips to manage your relationship after your kids.
Tips to Make Your Relationship Work
With all the new responsibilities and the additional chores, the new parents are often hardly left with any time for each other. As a consequence, often, their relationship goes through a difficult phase. Here are a few ways to help new parents keep their relationship loving and affectionate even after having a child.
When you have a baby, your responsibilities increase manifold. There are suddenly too many chores to be done. From feeding the baby to changing diapers, bathing the baby, doing the laundry, cooking meals and keeping the house clean, a whole lot of work needs to be done. If you have people to help you around, you are indeed fortunate. Still, there will never be a dearth of things to do. So, share the responsibilities as much as you can.
Be Equals As Parents
In India particularly, mothers tend to do most of the work for new babies, and the father is never an equal parent. No wonder a baby needs the mother most of all, but there are times when the father can and should step up and help as much as he can. A new mother needs care and support too, and as an equal parent, a new father can indeed support as much. It will make things easier for you and make you both feel the joy of equal participation in parenting.
Set Aside ‘Us-time’
Parenting is a full-time job, requiring lots of effort and time. At the end of the day, often new parents do not have any time for each other. Every relationship requires ‘us-time’. Make it necessary to set aside some time for yourself each day, even if it is a mere thirty minutes.
Go Out On Dates
Yes, it isn’t easy to go out when your little one keeps you busy all day. But once in a while, take some time out for yourselves, and go out on a date. Going out for dates may be a dream for new parents. It would be great if you could afford the luxury of someone else taking care of your baby while you are away. If there is no one else to take care of the baby besides both of you, after putting your baby to sleep, you can perhaps set up a romantic candlelight dinner right at the comfort of your dining table at home.
Remember To Bond
Remember that before becoming parents, you were partners. So make it a priority to bond just like you always did. The circumstances around you might have changed, but you are definitely those two people who were very much in love. Surprise each other with flowers and gifts. Be good friends, and you will be good parents too.
Let Your Partner Have Their ‘Me-time’
When you understand the need to make parenting a shared responsibility, you will realise the importance of letting your spouse have their ‘me-time’. Let your spouse go out and spend some time with their friends while you take charge of the baby. Doing this will allow your partner to unwind and relax away from the baby.
Do Things Together
There is no other thing as fun as doing things together as spouses and as parents too. It is all fun, and these little things keep up the charm in your relationship. Here’s a list of a few things that you can do together to make your relationship better after kids:
- Watch a movie together
- Play sudoku or solve a crossword together
- Read books or poems to each other
- Cook dinner together
- Play with your child
- Enrol yourselves in art and activity workshops together
- Go out for walks together
- Plan a vacation or a getaway very often
Talk It Out
Managing your relationship after kids is not that challenging. Every relationship goes through phases, and there are often misunderstandings too. Try to talk everything out. Be sensitive and sensible. Sort out problems when they are tiny. Do not let them grow bigger than your love for each other. Seek professional help from a therapist or marriage counsellor if you feel the need.
Do Not Blame Each Other
See each other as human beings capable of folly, lift each other up at the slightest instance. Do not blame each other for anything. Do not hurt with your words. Learn to apologise first. Do not let any other sentiment overpower the loving relationship that you share. Look beyond words, for often, people do not actually intend to say what they wish to. At the advent of any problem, just see yourself as a team against the problem.
Rise In Love
As parents, it is a new beginning for your relationship too. Appreciate your partner for everything that they are. You might have been in love, but things around you have now changed, with the baby becoming a priority for both of you. So, you have to rise in love so that when your child sees their parents as two absolutely loving human beings, they realise the true essence of love right from childhood. Every relationship is like a plant that needs a lot of care and love to flourish. Trust each other and protect and preserve the love.
Words From Author
Just like parenting, even your relationship with your spouse needs time, effort and lots of patience. And the idea is to be there for each other through anything and everything. When you and your partner are the finest support systems of each other, nothing ever can shake your relationship even after kids; it will just be more loving as you grow older together. Also, read here how the pandemic changed parenting.
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